In December we had a bit of a scary moment, Caroline actually ended up spending 5 days in the hospital. It started with a breathing episode that scared the life out of me! Tom was working on the road at the time and she had had what I thought was a cold. She oddly woke up in the middle of the night wanting a bottle... strange for my sleep through the night baby. She drank her bottle and we sat up and played for a few min. then she got the sleepy eye rub going so I laid her back down with me. We were co-sleeping that night because of my mama fears... she's done this breathing thing more than once. So I laid her down and was drifting back off to sleep with my hand resting on her tummy. It took a second for it to click but I remember thinking in my head am I just imagining things or is she not breathing. Well my mama instinct kicked in and I immediately sat straight up! I literally felt like everything was in such slow motion. I took my hand already on her tummy and shook her and said her name. When I had to describe this to the doctors they asked how hard I shook her, what did it look like, how did she feel etc. My response was I shook her hard enough to wake her up, I shook her hard enough because I thought she was dead. Even telling the story now makes me shaky. Yes I jostled my baby... call it what ever you want I did what I could to try to wake her. I did this shake/jostle movement twice both times saying Caroline... nothing I had a limp lifeless baby. So my next reaction was start CPR. I slid my hand under her back and moved her. She was too close to me. I at the same time reached for my phone to call 911. My hand was on the small of her back and she just flopped both directions... head and feet. Just as I grab my phone and put my hand on her chest to start CPR... she took a big breath! She still didn't wake for a few minuets but she was breathing. Talk about a sigh of relief. Lost and not sure what to do at that point I called Tom. I wasn't sure do I call 911? She's breathing and seems ok. Her doctors office had said as long as it wasn't over 20 seconds it was normal... like I said she had done this before and even then it was concerning enough for me to mention it. Since I had been told so many times it was normal Tom and I decided to wait for her already scheduled appointment for the following day.
Long story short we got to her doctors office and had the same answer... "It's normal mom, you need to calm down, it's just periodic breathing." Well this mama wasn't taking that for an answer. I spent 56 days in the NICU, I saw periodic breathing... it's why my baby couldn't come home. So with the advice of a family friend who worked in the NICU, I left the doctors office and went straight to the ER. Although I got some of the same the doctors in the ER were concerned enough (maybe for my peace of mind more than real concern) we got admitted. The next few days were a whirl wind. That night I spent 2 hours with the pediatric doctor. She was amazing and thorough. She left no stone un-turned. The decision was to monitor her for the night. Tom was still on the road and I didn't think he needed to come home yet... they weren't saying much. Well that changed very quickly. The next morning a new doctor came in I was standing bedside with Caroline who was happy and awake but had no issues that night. I could tell that something was wrong by the look on the doctors face but I didn't really pay it any attention. She said mom we have to look at all options and I know that you said that she goes to a nanny some during the day. Even though we see no signs of trauma we have to look into the possibility that someone might have hurt her. WHAT! I couldn't fathom this conversation. She explained that the concern was that the brain tells the body to breathe... what if something was wrong with the brain. So they ordered a full body x-ray and a ct scan of her head. We went and did these tests... the waiting was terrible but I had my mom there. During this waiting at some point I made the decision to call Tom home. The results were life changing. The CT scan showed an area that they were concerned about. It was in the front of the head and was a dark area that looked dense the doctor explained it and said that because they know it was not there when she was in the NICU they were concerned it could be blood. The only way blood could appear out of no where would be shaken baby syndrome. I was devastated .. how could someone hurt such a loving wonderful baby that never cries. The doctors told me they were going to emergency transport us to Dell Children's Hospital so that further testing including a full brain MRI could be done. Tom was on his way and I was in total shell shock. Tom got to the hospital just as the paramedics were putting Caroline on the stretcher... Not a good sight for any daddy.
We got to Dell... the looks from nurses etc were awful. They really thought we hurt our baby. The MRI was scheduled for the following morning and the talks of police, CPS were being had. They let us know that everyone that was around/watched here would need to be questioned. I explained that I had 100% no issue with that and if the test came back conclusive that someone had in fact hurt my child they better get to them before I did. They had an awful time trying to get an IV started and watching that was Tom's breaking point. To hear his daughter cry like that was simply heart breaking. They never got the IV they had to do it when she was already out. I held strong until the MRI. Tom had stayed in the room and I didn't realize to do an MRI on an infant they have to sedate her and put her completely under. Caroline had never been on any breathing machines and that did it for me. I called Tom... I needed him. To finish up this long story it turns out that there was in fact no fluid. The CT scan was not correct and although they saw something it was actually nothing... but that still left us with the breathing issue. The next step was a swallow study/upper GI it turns out that Caroline has awful reflux. She refluxes bad enough that her body does exactly what it should and protects it's air way when the stomach acids are coming back up. By protecting it she's closing it. All of this for a really bad case of reflux... we were simply exhausted from the ordeal. I had actually started a job 3 days prior to all of this... I had to go back to my new job but at least my baby was ok!
The rest of the month was pretty uneventful... We celebrated her first Christmas! It was wonderful and I loved every minuet of it. While she was in the hospital we got referred to a therapy program. ECI is monitoring her for physical, speech and occupational therapy. She's behind but that's expected with a preemie. She is growing by leaps and bounds and learns something new every week. On Friday (tomorrow) my big girl will be 9 months old. She is talking saying mama, dada, baba, up and pup. She yells at her puppy (our 70 lb lab) she has a ton of personality and knows she's in charge! Daddy is wrapped around her finger! Here are some photos from the past few months starting with her in the hospital to current!
All above are when we were in the hospital!
Green Eyes Now... wonder what they will end up being!
Finally rolled to her belly!
My sweet baby girl!
I will update as often as I can. We are just here and doing our thing. Before I know it her 1st birthday will be here! Lots of love to all of our followers.
xoxo,
Casey, Tom and Our Sweet Caroline
