A much needed update on Caroline, Tom and me.

Well I'll start with me... Yes it's actually Casey posting.  I am no longer a shell of a person.  I was very out of it for the last week and well that's kinda to be expected I had major surgery and a baby that seems to demand a lot of my attention.  She of course can have it all!  So with out going into too many details the c-section was done up and down on my belly and side to side on my uterus (better to prevent further c-sections) but for increased healing and lower risk of infections the doctors left the belly incision open and then they placed whats called a wound vac inside to basically suction it closed.  Every two days they go in and change the dressing out it gets smaller and smaller until it's all the way healed.  It sucks but it cuts my healing time in half.  Other than that I am running pretty hard to keep up with my visits with her, pumping schedule and the demands of being a step mom, wife, daughter and friend.  I am sure that some of those areas are slacking a little but I know everyone understands...

Now to Tom... he went back to work today and although I am sure it's hard it's a necessary evil.  He is such a strong man and amazing father because he too is juggling having a "hurt" wife, a preemie baby, work and the girls.  He's such a trooper and deserves all of the praise I can offer!  I am a lucky girl!

Last and I'm a sure most anticipated... the star of the show Caroline!

This child is a fighter and of course my brat!  She has a small heart murmur but it's not something the dr's are concerned about.  If it is still there in a week they will treat with meds to close the valve that is partially open.  Even some full term babies have this issue so it's not something we are overly concerned about.  She is up to 2.8 lbs today... an increase from yesterday's 2.6.  She is up to 17 ml on her feedings (I'm having a hard time keeping up to be honest).  She had an ultrasound of her head to check for brain bleeds, also can be common on full term babies, and she amazingly has none!!!! Yes, I said none like as in zilch, zip, zero!  My little feisty girl!  Other than that there's not much to say.  She's just growing and the only thing she needs right now is time to do so.  We kangaroo her twice a day on most days but always at least once.  Being home from the hospital makes things a bit harder time wise but this is an important step in her care.  She rests so peacefully when she's tucked in with mommy or daddy.

With us being home now there are some things we will need and I know so many people are asking how they can help.  I will work on getting our care calendar setup so if you would like to help it will tell you how.  I can't say exactly what yet because we don't have much of a routine but that is slowly falling into place.  Thank you all for your prayers.  They are clearly working!

xoxo,
Casey

Did you ever wonder how mothers of premature babies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint. . .give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she'll handle it. "I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see, ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice"

"Nursing is not for everyone. It takes a very strong, intelligent, and compassionate person to take on the ills of the world with passion and purpose and work to maintain the health and well-being of the planet."

 

Meet Amanda... My saving grace and the person that told me I could do this.  I am still debating on if I can in fact do this but she got me through the very hard days leading up to delivery of Caroline.  When the doctors came in and told me Wednesday night that I would deliver Friday she was our rock.  She answered a ton of questions and basically encouraged us.  Thursday night was my first night on Magnesium.  What a yucky necessary drug.  It makes you feel like you have the flu or worse...  Amanda was diligent about checking in on me to make sure I was as comfortable as possible.  She talked of her three daughters and gave me the strength that I needed to get through delivery.  I do have to say that several other nurses went above and beyond but it was Amanda's surprise visit two days after my c-section (although in a different unit) that sealed the deal.  She became my favorite!  I can not thank her enough but I had to get her a little gift to really express just how much she did for Tom and I.  An amazing lady that I had to tell all of you about.  Meet Amanda...